


disarm my heart

by foggynelson



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-07 18:37:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6819505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foggynelson/pseuds/foggynelson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because, the thing is, Raphael just kissed Simon. </p><p>And the thing is, Simon liked it a lot and he’s highkey freaking out because since when did he like boys, since when did he like Raphael, since when did thinking about his clan leader bring butterflies to his stomach.</p>
            </blockquote>





	disarm my heart

“Did I leave the stove on? I think I left the stove on. How stupid of me! I should go right now,” Simon rambles out, his voice growing in pitch as he speaks.

“What stove?” Raphael questions. “We don’t eat.”

“Right yes, just, I think.... I need to go check on something right now,” Simon replies and he’s out the door before Raphael can respond because, the thing is, Raphael just kissed Simon. 

And the thing is, Simon liked it a lot and he’s highkey freaking out because since when did he like boys, since when did he like Raphael, since when did thinking about his clan leader bring butterflies to his stomach.

Before Simon can open the door to his room, Raphael is standing in front of it. Simon tries to maneuver so that he can open the door, but Raphael shifts his body so there’s no way Simon can get in and he’s not strong enough to push Raphael aside.

“Are you upset about what happened?” Raphael questions. His voice is this soft tone that Simon’s only heard him use twice before (once with Lily, who was in a crisis and another with a small girl who had lost her parents one night while they were on patrol (Raphael took her hand and walked with her until she was reunited with her parents (they were so grateful and called Raphael an angel for taking care of their daughter (Simon thought he was an angel too)))). 

“I...” Simon starts but there’s no finish to that sentence. He’s not upset, no, at least not with Raphael and not about the kiss. He’s just, well, confused, but he’s too afraid to admit that to Raphael so instead he stays quiet.

“If you’re upset, I apologize. It won’t happen again.” Raphael gives a curt nod and begins to walk off.

“Wait,” Simon whispers. Raphael turns. “Maybe it could happen again. At some point later. I just... gotta figure some things out.”

“Take your time,” Raphael instructs him and continues on his way.

And Simon does take his time. He talks to Magnus about it. They talk labels and feelings and what it means to like your same gender. At one point Magnus says he’s, “Too bi to die,” and Simon can’t stop laughing because - wow! him too! 

It takes a little bit longer past that for Simon to be okay with how he feels about Raphael. It’s one thing in theory to know you like boys and it’s another to actually like one. But he realizes he likes this crush, these feelings that are inside him. He likes how he always smiles whenever Raphael is around. He likes that when Raphael says his name, his breath gets caught in his throat. It’s strange and it’s new, but Simon likes it all.

Simon goes to Raphael’s room the next evening. He knocks and Raphael opens the door for him, welcoming him in. Simon steps inside. Raphael is dressed well, tight jeans and a black leather jacket. His hair isn’t done and Simon is surprised to see curls. He’s so beautiful and Simon wonders how it took him so long to see it.

“I was wondering,” Simon begins, lightly tapping his foot as he speaks, “if we could, um, kiss again?” The question sound so stupid and Simon’s worried that Raphael is over him and is gonna throw him out of the room. Instead, the corners of Raphael’s mouth curl upward until there’s the sweetest smile on his face. Simon realizes then that there’s literally nothing he wouldn’t do to keep Raphael smiling like that.

Raphael steps forward until there is no space between them, their bodies touching, and Simon realizes just how much taller he is than Raphael. Simon leans down and meets Raphael’s lips. It’s soft and simple and so much better than the time before. It’s better than any kiss Simon has ever had. 

Far too soon, Raphael pulls back and Simon misses the taste of his mouth so much. “You sure about this?” Raphael questions and Simon hates that he’s made him doubt himself in any form. Simon nods fervently and grabs the back of Raphael’s head and kisses him again.

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a five sentence ask game response but I could not stop oops. Anyway, thanks for reading!! Please let me know what you think and come talk to me on [tumblr](http://autisticraphael.tumblr.com/).


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